Ok first off just want to start off by saying….

How is it that we are heading towards the end of September? And even crazier… how is it that I have a Kindergartner?! 

Sometimes it doesn’t feel real. The cheesiest thing that people always say is, “time really does fly”… and it couldn’t be more true. I hate that I just wrote that. But what the hell?! I still feel like I am 23. I think I always will… Anyway! 

Wanted to sit down, write myself, and whoever reads this, a little life update.  I love using this space as a journal.  It’s often a spot where I can reflect, just get my thoughts out and hopefully be relatable for you along the way. 

So if you didn’t already know…. I am surrounded my males. My husband of course, 3 little boys that are the most BOY energy of all time and even my cat and dog are in the boy club. My best friends are my 2 brothers and 1 of them is an all boy dad too. To put the dagger in it my mom, my other “go-to”, has been gone for 3 weeks on a road trip with Dad just living their best life. But I need her to return because I am craving some female energy. 

Luckily I was able to sneak out with a girlfriend to see Avril Lavigne and that was much needed for the soul. 

Mothering is a wild thing. Like I am so grateful for these little beings. I love them so much that there is really no way to describe it. And then, at the same time… it’s the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Hard in a way that it has exposed some sides of me that I didn’t know was there. Do you have that too? 

For example…. Do you ever reach a point of frustration and totally lose your sh*t then reflect on it and you are thinking to yourself, “I didn’t even know I was capable of acting that crazy?!” Then you have to remind yourself that yes, you are human and now how can I mend this situation so my children don’t have trauma. HA! Ok this is being very dramatic but it’s truly how I feel. 

I thought that I was very in control of my emotions… but lately my patience has been REALLY tested.   I believe it’s partially hormonal … partially over-working… partially being torn in a million different directions everyday. 

I have had this pull to slow down. Slow down in a sense of just being more intentional with my time and with my littles. Saying “no” to events.  Finding joy in just being home together doing nothing. That’s always been tough for me. I like to be on the go. Or I thought I did. I’m feeling a shift. I want to do less. Less in the way of less plans. More intentional time. 

This was a total ramble. But a little glimpse into my mind. How are you all doing? HA!